


Soul Prison

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Series: Jewel in the Iron Crown [22]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21827254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: He doesn’t know how to tell her. Even if he showed her the memories, she wouldn’t understand.
Relationships: Thaos ix Arkannon/Original Character(s)
Series: Jewel in the Iron Crown [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566019
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: TTRPG Godsquad





	Soul Prison

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aban_ataashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/gifts).



He doesn’t know how to tell her. Not about what they will have to do – that, he will be able to explain, to convince Nona, and she in turn will be able to deal with it when it comes to that. It won’t be easy – nor should it be – but they will eventually work it out. He is waiting and withholding more information for Nona’s sake. Because once she learns, even if she makes peace with it at last – peace is not possible, only pushing those thoughts out of one’s mind until you can barely hear them – but she will never be the same once she knows.

But how could he explain why he must do it alone? Even if he showed her the memories, she wouldn’t understand – not the images alone. He would _never_ show her more – he does not wish _that_ on anyone. And without sharing it all – how could he ever explain how it felt, sensing so many conflicting emotions, and then so many deaths at once, and witnessing what happened to all those souls afterwards? How does it feel to a cipher with a memory almost as flawless as Woedica’s, when he can still remember everything with terrifying clarity. When everything reminds him – temples, prayers, the existence of the gods itself. Engwithan ruins everywhere across Dyrwood – remains of what used to be his home, and the reason why he can never truly have another. Small details – smells and tastes, shapes and textures of fabric, slipping through his fingers until they are forgotten – he is not allowed to save them, only to keep a few mementos. Hearing only his own thoughts – and the gods, sometimes – speaking to him in his language.

Thaos doesn’t doubt Nona’s devotion, her willingness to aid him, her feelings. But no matter how much she wants to help, she _couldn’t_ possibly understand. And he is glad of it. All he has done – every blessing and atrocity - and all he has been through, everything he has witnessed – has served one purpose. So that faithful souls like her will never have to go through that.


End file.
